randomthoughts

more thoughts..

2011-08-14T04:14:00.002+08:00

I've had a very informative conversation with one of my close friends and verified something very disturbing. I don't really want to talk about it(I'm blogging it instead), I just wanted to vent this out: WTH man, you're ruining everyone's mood. Please be sensitive enough. Do I have to be the one to talk about everything you're doing wrong? It's all wrong, I don't think you're getting the whole picture here.

Anyway, I'm both drunk and sleepy. I might just let this one pass. ><

bad bad vid

2011-08-12T03:34:00.003+08:00

Why that MV failed. 1. Location, couldn't they come up with a better one? 2.) Outfits, the second set of outfits looked like torn outfits from the Japanese MV version of Gee. 3.)Lines, I mean, wth, Yoona is just singing 'Alright' all throughout the song. Giving her solo shots on singing one word is just sad. 4.)Dance steps, Some are good. Some are effin` recycled. RDR dance steps. 5.) Cameras, its like they used 2-3 camera angles for this MV, and pitiful solo shots. This looked more like a dance video, I can even remember one live performance that has the same camera angles. Laziness maybe?

The concept itself, failed.

I dunno, but maybe SM rushed this MV. If not, something tells me that the girls were forced to do this crappy concept whether they like it or not lol.

T_T

2011-08-01T02:55:00.001+08:00

I officially killed off my 2nd iPod. Yeah, 2nd, the other one doesn't count because I lost it. lol.

One year later

2011-07-30T01:21:00.003+08:00

Hi, If you're reading this, then you must be one of my avid readers before or maybe some random stranger who just happened to stumble upon my narcissistic blog. xD Anyways, It's been a while since I started this blog. The last time I checked, it was around December of 2004. If I my math is correct, it's been around 6 years and 6 months. My last post was around May of 09. I was slacking off since then xD

Ok, so what's new? I seriously don't know where to start. lol.

Well I should just start at my gaming life. It's been a while since I quit or quite simply 'gave up' on Rf online. The company handling it is uber focused in squeezing out anything they could do to earn as much as possible with that game. The whole game has changed, if you're not willing to spend on it, it'll leave you hanging and weak. That's just sad. With some free time, I play HoN with friends or even alone. It's a good replacement for DoTa. Lot's of features that DoTa doesn't have. So it's quite enjoyable when you really don't have anything to do. xD Some of my friends are even joining a tournament on August 13, I hope they do well and end up as champions. xD

Next, my alcohol preference. lol. I've been into rhum these days. Well I'm still drinking beer but with my group prefers rhum over beer. xD We do occasional beers at times too. I've spent a lot of fun times with these guys. We call our group Tanduay All-stars. xD It's quite explanatory right? We started off as Sb Members, then became TA. We started with humble beginnings. We were just 3 guys who didn't have anything to do in an ordinary hot summer afternoon. We were like, "let's drink? we have nothing better to do" that thought gave way to more members. Until we had a nice place over at bonifacio where we could do some gaming and a whole lot of drinking. xD That place has this annoying neighbor who (always) complains of our noise. I mean, it's inevitable. We're having fun and there's nothing she/he could do. Yeah, I did the she/he xD She's a tomboy. Anyways, I'm bored and I have all the time, I can just blog about this here: We have our ups and downs, each person has their own kind of personality, but there are some of them have this certain personality that I might have not been able to tolerate when I was at my immature state. Lol. Ok, here's one guy, who seems to know it all. Not just about stuff, but people. He'd be like, 'Hey, I know that girl, she's the friend of my friend yada yada the list goes on. But that's just some random chick we saw on the street. Well, I might be going deeper with this, He might just even read this entry (who knows) but hey, If he does, at least it's a heads up for him. Still on him, I have one of my major interests these days. I kinda share that same interest with the group, actually it was I who introduced it to them. This certain interest is one of the things we share in common aside from drinking and gaming. Well I shared some media thinking it would just be cool to share some good stuff on this certain 'interest' of ours. But then I was wrong, kinda. This thing grew like wildfire for him. All of a sudden, out of nowhere he became 'too interested'. I was like 'woah, hold yer horses there man' he was like 'hey did you know about this and that' Which was ok at first, I repeat, at first. It became quite annoying the longer it got. Not sounding like a hypocrite here, I know this stuff (talking about that certain 'interest') and yes I could humbly say, I know a LOT about it. What annoys/irritates me is the fact that he circles out the group, wait circling out would not be appropriate. But he's so full of himself, thinking he knows everything about this certain 'interest' he tends to isolate other members from the conversation. But no, he does not have the slightest idea what he's into. I'm pretty certain, he doesn't know the most basic let's just say, 'information' about this 'interest'. I'm using too much interest words here. lol. You might say I'm being selfish and arrogant, well yes. Maybe. But I have my reasons. This is one of the things that identify me of who I am(well kinda). I don't want some wannabe guy to become so full of himself that he comes and overshadows me. I'm not saying he could, (not in a million light years) but it's the thought that annoys me. You see where I'm going at this? I just wanted a healthy conversation where everyone could talk, you know, the common conversation where a lot of people are in to it. Everyone has his/her thoughts, why try to isolate them? I'm glad I got it out of my system (a little). But there's more, I was talking about my identity right? I have this other identifier (just among the group xD ) where he kinda took over. Yeah, you read it right. Took over. Not completely, but partially. Needless to say, I got annoyed then again. But now, in my so-called mature state, I've learned to tolerate these kinds of personalities. I'm more of a listener than a talker but I had this evil idea to just like blurt out everything so he could go like 'yeah, yeah, -silence-, *nods* I agree.. to stop it I couldn't take it anymore.' lol just once. It'd be fair right? Ok I'll stop now. I hope I was discreet with that section there. But if he gets the idea, again, heads up. =)

I logged in my secondary yahoo messenger account the other day, just checking if it still works. lol. Well, it still works but I found someone to be online. It made me wonder what "it's" up to. xD

The blog entry title is a song. And yes, I'm crazy over kpop. since 08. Never thought of blogging about it though xD

[s.e]
noeui il nyeoneun ddo eddasseoni?

brick by boring brick

2009-11-05T21:52:00.002+08:00

Well the first few days of school was not so bad. So far I have no teachers to fear xD I guess I have to revert my old commenting thingy, seems like something's wrong with disqus and my current blog theme. Somehow it makes my blog load longer. And it looks a little unorganized. I just don't feel it :P

Till here.

[s.e]
She lives in a fairy tale
Somewhere too far for us to find
Forgotten the taste and smell
Of the world that she's left behind
It's all about the exposure the lens I told her
The angels were all wrong now
She's ripping wings off of butterflies
keep your feet on the ground
when your head's in the clouds

new day new everything..

2009-11-03T22:39:00.002+08:00

I just got back from basketball. took the showers then started to get ready for tomorrow, its the first day of the second semester, God knows how many 1st day's I've been through xD

blogging again feels good, I have no idea why but I kinda miss it :P

new stuff..

2009-11-02T13:28:00.002+08:00

I replaced my old blogger comment thingy with a new one. Its called Disqus, it has lots of features, thats why it made me change my current comment thingy xD

I replaced my blog background with the old one, it seems too look much better in the old one :P

all souls day..

2009-11-01T21:16:00.004+08:00

This blog is definitely begging for an update. The last time I checked, I made a draft about the time we almost got into jail. That was around July. yeah, its been that long. Before creating this entry, I read previous entries of my blog. Some entries were really funny, I mean, I couldn't imagine myself saying those things on my blog. Some were really sad. I guess I was really sad back then.The few things that were really common in my entries, the usual time i blog, late at night. Maybe I'm just expressive at night. Anyways, consider this entry as a resurrection entry for my blog. since I haven't really updated in a while.

boy meets girl..

2009-06-19T00:54:00.002+08:00

I just finished watching this film, 'Its a boy girl thing'. I had fun watching this movie, the plot is about two neighbors, a girl and a boy. They basically hate each other, the guy is this football jock and the girl is this straight-A student. One day at the museum, they argue in front of a statue of this mexican god. Then it started to cast something to both of them. And the next day they both wake up exchanging bodies.

Again, the neglected blog. I've been thinking a lot these days, trying to figure out what I want. Everything seems incomplete. I want to push through but I don't want to end up hurting myself or someone. Im still skeptical about this. I might not be making any sense with this, but then I'm hoping to find my answer soon enough.

my vacation..

2009-04-15T20:55:00.001+08:00

April 4

yesterday, I had one of the best days of my summer. I'm supposed to meet up with some of my guildmates to attend the boss timed attack. i think i was the earliest one to arrive at the place, we haven't decided where to meet up so i just went straight to the arcades while waiting for them to arrive. it was around 2 o'clock when i decided to check the place out. when i arrived, i was trying really hard not to laugh but the first thing i saw was this awful group of cosplayers >< i like cosplays, but this group just failed. xD after gaining composure and acquiring great determination not to laugh i headed straight to the event center. i didn't have any idea that the Ozine fest was an anime convention held yearly. so, this like hitting 2 or 3 birds in one stone. one, i could meet up with my guildmates (this is the first time i would do such a thing in my life) two, i could be on an anime convention (my passion for anime resurfaced xD) three, attend an rf related event just for the entry prizes. this would be the part where i would text them what im wearing so they could easily find me. the hard part was that there were too many people around, green with white stripes just wouldn't suffice as a description. so i decided to stand in a place with little people so i could easily be distinguished. little did i know they were just a few paces from me. then they started introducing themselves and i was relieved i didn't have to come up to them. so i decided to get something to eat, standing up for around thirty minutes could pose a great strain on my legs. we headed off to mcdonalds too eat and meet up with the rest of the gang. then my other guildmate who was a girl decided to show up. she was one of my closest friends in the game. well then and there, i was caught dumbfounded, as i gazed through her eyes, it made me realize that not everything is caught on film or better yet on digital cameras. her eyes looked different upclose, leaving me speechless. plus having the fact that everyone from the guild knew that i had a huge crush on her didn't help at all. her eyes were so alluring, looking away became a huge task for me. in my state, words just couldn't come out of my mouth. i might as well leave an impression of a guy who couldn't speak because of a girl's eyes xD after that akward scene, we decided to check out the convention. it was then i realized, the great cosplayers were inside the event center. we decided to take pictures to the closest or cutest cosplayer we could see. we even had to take turns when having a photograph. after a while, the levelup crew announced that the rf event wouldn't push through, so then we decided to take more photos of the cosplayers. the event had a lot of cosplayers. im not quite sure of the number but i think they had roughly around 200 to 300 cosplayers. with that number, one cosplayer caught my eyes, she was cosplaying Misamisa, from the series, Death Note. she looks really cute in her costume. after taking pictures with the cosplayers, we decided to have another group picture. This time involving everyone from cora altrax. after taking pictures, i took the time to know everyone there. It was nice knowing some of these people, talking virtually anything about rf. After the chatting, we headed to this place called coal to have some drinks. Unfortunately, I didn't spend much time with them. I had to leave early because our house is quite far from the city. The experience was great, i had a lot of fun that day. I'm still hoping that rf could still survive long enough for the next patch.

Some random ranting; I like the idea of blogging without the internet better yet, without the distractions. It makes me blog more about anything or anyone. As a matter of fact, once this entry gets posted, it would definitely be the longest entry for the year. My previous entries were short one. Some even had to be finished in a certain timeframe. i just discovered, im really slow in typing japanese words.i tried catching up on the subtitles on some anime songs, my hands couldn't keep with some words. anyways, i'm ending this entry with my so-called literature xD i have lots of these in some of my notebooks, im just not ready to post them on the internet just yet.

With just one look,
i knew it was you
with the blinding sight,
still there was you.

it was in your eyes,
your true beauty described
it was in your eyes,
you sought perfection.

your enchanting eyes,
my deepest silence
these surging emotions,
all acting up against me

i'm deeply lost for words,
vulnerability reeks up.
my saddened thoughts,
hoping for someone.

all my feeble grasps,
for your eyes towards me
but the sad reality,
it's just not for me..

quick post..

2009-03-24T03:48:00.002+08:00

ok, in this entry i have about 11 minutes to create an entry. Im in my laptop now and my downloads in my desktop computer starts in around 4am. Once my downloads start,my wifi connection dissapears. (it's hogging all the internet xD) anyways, i just finished watching the film, Spiderman 2. watching the movie made me feel nostalgic and scared. Apparently, my heart was pounding faster than normal. I don't have the slightest clue why im feeling this way. i just turned on my laptop then immediately started to blog about it. apparently, blogging doesn't help. [Time check 7 more minutes.] I've become a late sleeper nowadays, im finding it hard to sleep early. i usually get to sleep at around 2-3am in the morning. [no more time left xD ]

i kinda lost my literature T_T

another way to kill time..

2009-03-09T01:31:00.002+08:00

well, i have about 25 minutes to blog about absolutely anything. (I'm doing this to kill time.) It's 1:35am, i plan to sleep at 2am. I slept in the afternoon, which makes it hard for me to sleep in the evening.

I watched the finals of the female division of the uaap volleyball. It was a match between Far Eastern Universtiy (FEU) and De La Salle University (DLSU). The match was breathtaking, both teams had it going. It was just sad that only one team could win. and unfortunately, the team I was betting on (FEU), succumbed to a 3-1 championship finish.

It was around last month, my history classmates and I, had a field trip to cagayan. Initially, i wasn't really planning on going. I've been to cagayan for countless times already, so why bother. I didn't even know half of the class, and with my personality, going on a field trip with them would really be ironic. But then, I decided to go anyway. Weighing things, A day in school versus a day in another city, the latter surfaced. So then we had to meet up at school at 1am in the morning, I stayed up at my friend's cafe so I'd just walk going to school. I thought it was cool that we were using the school bus, but no. It was really slow on uphill climbs. Normally a trip to cagayan would take about 6 hours. The bus took around 9 hours. So then we arrived at cagayan at around 9am in the morning, we were looking for a place to stay, it took around an hour before we got settled. It was around 12 when our teacher decided to take us the place we were supposed to visit. It was a cave somewhere around the outskirts of cagayan. While we were on the way to the cave, I noticed the driver was having a hard time breathing. I could tell because I was sitting a few paces from him. Then the next thing, he was sweating profusely like it was taking all his strength just to breath out air. It was then he decided to turn around and find the nearest drug store. Everything became clear now, something was really wrong with our driver. To make the story short, he was rushed to the nearby hospital. We then learned that he was diagnosed with Pneumonia. Another driver was sent in to take over his place. We didn't get to the cave, we went to the mall instead. It was around 9pm that we decided to get together, have some drinks. This is where i got to know most of my classmates. I kinda went overboard with the security guard when i told him to chill xD I can proudly say that I could take in huge amounts of alcohol before getting really wasted. We bought a case of beer, but only 2 of us went for it. The next morning we headed off to the cave, it was a little smaller than I expected. After checking out the cave, we had lunch then went straight back to davao to spend valentines. I had my valentines with my mom and dad, since i wasn't really in the mood for saturday night drinking xD

well time's up. =[

I might be posting my own 'literature' instead of s.e's xD

goodbye days..

2009-03-06T01:00:00.003+08:00

i feel compelled to write a blog entry after hearing this song, 'Goodbye Days' by Yui. I haven't hear this song for a while now. the song still makes me feel sad, just remembering how the movie ended is sad enough. im trying to make an entry as long as the song can go, which makes it 4mins. xD

[s.e]
Oh Good-bye Days
Ima, kawaru ki ga suru
Kinou made ni
So Long
Kakko yokunai
Yasashisa ga soba ni aru kara
La la la la la with you

tagged..

2009-02-09T21:42:00.002+08:00

tagged by shynne, an overdue entry xD

10 things i want for my birthday.

i did something like this last year, my wishlist entry xD

i would want to have:

1. an iPod touch? xD
2. a new pc
3 Playstation 3
4. a +6 dark bow hahah

sadly, my list doesn't reach 10 xD

the verdasco loss

2009-01-30T22:28:00.002+08:00

after 5hours and 14 mins of pure tennis, rafael nadal won over fernando verdasco. it was a sad loss for verdasco, having to lose through double fault on the nadal match point. anyways, im looking forward to the federer-nadal final, i believe this is their time on the australian open final. i hope roger wins ><

[s.e]
Wake up everyone
How can you sleep at a time like this
Unless the dreamer is the real you
Listen to your voice
The one that tells you to taste past the tip of your tongue
Leap and the net will appear

new new

2009-01-30T01:29:00.002+08:00

ok, whats new? apparently, my blog's shoutbox doesn't work. this blog has been silent for around 2 months or so. clearly, i have time to spare since im blogging this xD

starting off with my random ranting, 2008, it was a good year. lots of happy thoughts and less sad ones. i can say everything is working for me, some mess ups come around but i tend to manage them with ease. about my wish list, i got #3, the guitar pedal. its really cool but i still have to learn more about the knobs and switches xD through out the last year i have been watching some movies in my free time. i recommend watching some of these. ten inch hero, a movie about 4 girls and how they get on with their lives, if your a fan of the series, 'one tree hill' you'll probably know some of the actors/actresses in this movie. garden party, again a story of people in random with no relationship at all, show how they live their lives. this movie is kinda boring if you prefer a single story rather than having different scenes and different people. but still, i find this movie quite amusing. camp rock, a movie from disney. frankly, i didn't want to download this one at first, it just gave me an impression of the reincarnation of high school musican in a whole new concept. what's more, the jonas brothers are in it as connect three. but then, i heard demi lovato's album which sounded really nice. plus, she's selena gomez's bestfriend. to avoid straying off the topic, the movie is about a summer music camp, wherein music fanatics meet up and hone their skills. demi's character wants to attend this camp but her parents just couldn't afford it because of financial problems. then the singing starts xD next would be, another cinderella story. yes, the title says it all, its another one of those cinderella stories. selena gomez plays the role of mary aka cinderella. if you've seen a cinderella movie, you should know what should happen in this movie :P and the last one, the secret. this movie is really intresting, its about spiritual transference with in our time seems impossible. i suggest you get a copy of this film :P ok, enough of movie reviews. im gonna post more if i get my free time again xD lazy.too tired to profread. ><

[s.e]
Ngunit di mo na mababawi iniwang sakit
Sa mga salitang binitiwan mo
Hindi ba't ikaw na rin ang nagpasya, nagtakda
At siyang unang umiwas
Bakit nga ba ako 'yong pinaasa?

movie review..

2008-11-05T02:03:00.002+08:00

okay, movie review. eagle eye, it was an interesting movie, plot was a bit similar with one of will smith's movies, i won't tell, believe me it would spoil the whole movie xD as usual michelle monaghan looked hot even for a 'mom' role. anyways, you guys might want to watch this movie if your into sci-fi films.

wait wait, i've just learned that, paramore is doing the cover for the movie twilight. how cool is that @_@

[s.e]
All your twisted thoughts free flow
To everlasting memories
Show soul
Kiss the stars with me..

the secret..

2008-10-30T03:52:00.002+08:00

i just finished watching this movie, Si j`etais toi, i think its the french title for it. as for the american title, its 'The Secret'. that movie was really moving. i would definitely recommend watching this title.

anyhow, i have to keep this really short. considering the time i made this entry. no s.e's for now, considering the time i made this entry xD

my christmas wishlist..

2008-10-27T02:53:00.003+08:00

its kinda early but i wanted to list my wish list for Christmas. here goes,

1.A new computer.
2.An acoustic guitar.
3.the Zoom G1X effects pedal.

It might sound like a pricey list, but if i had had #3, i think i wouldn't need #2. but if i had #2 and #3 i probably wouldn't need #1. if i had #1 I'd still would want to have #3.but then, it'd still be cool if i had all of it. i hope i get all of it xD

if i really get the guitar effects pedal, i think i would might as well spend less time on rf. the game is becoming more of a headache. im not enjoying it anymore. ><

[s.e]
You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
I need to find you
I gotta find you..

demi and selena..

2008-10-21T02:46:00.002+08:00

one fine sunday, i got lazy and started to watch tv, while browsing through the channels, i found one really interesting show. The wizards of waverly place. it was really funny, considering it was on the disney channel.before, the only thing i could watch in that channel is the america's funniest home videos. but then this show was different, its not like hannah montana which i couldn't bear to watch for around 3 minutes. alex, the only daughter in the show, played by Selena Gomez looks really cute. at first i thought she was somehow related to Rachel Bilson, they somehow look little like each other. well im not alone, the last time i checked, a lot of people think they really do look like each other. but for me, rachel's hot and selena' cute xD long story short, i got really hooked with the series and started to watch it everyday. (yes, it airs even at weekends xD)

while searching about selena, i found out about her bestfriend, Demi Lovato. i decided to watch the movie Camp Rock even though i had to bear the fact that i would have to watch the jonas brothers. >< good thing there wasn't too much singing.the movie was kinda predictable but it works xD she has this album 'Don't forget' which is really nice. she has a really powerful voice like kelly clarkson, it has this cool pop-rock genre with some mellow songs which again is nice. xD i currently like her song 'Get back' from her debut album, she looks really hot on her music video @_@

omg i have to stop haha.

[s.e]
I wanna get back
To the old days
When the phone would ring
And I knew it was you
I wanna talk back
And get yelled at
Fight for nothing
Like we used to
Oh, kiss me
Like you mean it
Like you miss me..

errr..

2008-10-16T02:04:00.002+08:00

just now, I've noticed, the thing that easily makes me mad. yung mga tao na di marunong tumupad sa usapan. taena, badtrip. walang kwenta kausap.

tired..

2008-09-12T00:30:00.002+08:00

i feel tired, really tired. everything's so repetitive. i want something new. if not, hide from everything. stop everything, make it better.

this is how i feel.

tired, confused.

please sing for me. .

[s.e]
Sometimes life seems too quiet
Into paralyzing silence
Like the moonless dark
Meant to make me strong
Familiar breath of my old lies
Changed the color in my eyes..

911..

2008-09-11T01:27:00.002+08:00

That felt really good. Finally, I could go on with my life. Maybe I should start to look for my certain someone. I want someone who i could really talk to. Someone who could listen, accept and love me. This may really sound cheesy, but heck who would even bother to read my blog xD i hope nameless girl would send a sign T_T

[s.e]
And I feel a weakness coming on
Never felt so good to be so wrong
Had my heart on lockdown
And then you turned me around
I'm feeling like a new born child..

sorrow..

2008-07-29T01:27:00.006+08:00

woah. its been 4 months since my last update. I've been doing lots of (repetitive) things lately. rf seems to be the best thing for me nowadays, the game is dying but im still hoping the next patch would be the fix.

anyways, i have this thing going around my mind these days. its about how people enjoy music. do they enjoy it on how it sounds or what's in its lyrics.

i'l keep it short, just to get things started (again)

[s.e]
Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you
And hope for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole
As you flew right through me..

so long sweet summer..

2008-03-20T01:03:00.001+08:00

well, its been around 2 months since my last entry. I couldn't ind the time to blog, until now. last friday, we arrived here in manila at around 11pm. my dad came to pick us up in the airport. along with him was my mom's brother, his wife and his 2 adorable kids. they're here in manila to spend the holy week with us. it was sunday when we headed to baguio to spend 3 days and two nights. my dad's friend said he had this place up in baguio where we could stay. the house was like an old mansion it had lots of rooms and a fireplace. the house was almost perfect, but there's just one thing that bothers me. during the first night, my little cousin started crying really loud. my aunt was puzzled because she couldn't find a reason why my little cousin is crying. soon after she calmed down and stopped crying, she fell asleep. the next day, we tried asking her why she was crying the night before. she was mumbling things like scary, boy, mumu, 'angry face'. it was then we realized, she was referring to a supernatural being >.< as we reached the village entrance, the whole villlage was dark, suggesting a blackout. the guard informed us that something is wrong with the main line and the power company had to fix it. the blackout made 'the house' even scarier as it is. my dad bought drinks and brought it to the fireplace so we could drink beer as we wait for the power to be restored. as soon as the power came back everyone started to head to their rooms and to retire. meanwhile, i was preoccupied listening to my ipod. it was around an hour when my little cousin started crying again, just like the other night. just when i heard her crying that way, it gave me the chills. it was then i decided to take pictures inside that room. i even took a video for around 5 minutes. after reviewing the pictures i just took, all i got was ordinary pictures and nothing close to ghosts or supernatural beings. but i have some pictures with 'orbs' on it. i wanted to look it up on the internet but my internet is really slow and i don't have the patience for it. the next day, we asked my cousin about the 'boy' she saw. again, she still couldn't speak much about it but she said something about his face, something like a scar on his eye. as i listened, it looked like he was an angry boy with a really messed up face. and with that messed up face plus an angry look, he could easily scare a 2 year old kid in a matter of seconds. i wonder what he'd look like if i actually took a photo of him; but then, i prefer not to know xD

this is getting kinda long and im not used to it.
i'll add up on this tommorow or next week. xD

[s.e]
And when we get home,
I know we won't be home at all
This place we live, it is not where we belong
And I miss who we were
In the town that we could call our own
Going back to get away
After everything has changed..

randomthoughts..

2008-01-23T23:49:00.001+08:00

since its a new year, i guess i have to change the way i blog, or better yet, the things i blog about. for years, this blog has been about everything that comes out of my mind. this time, i'm thinking of blogging about specific things. mainly, sports, movies or anime series. with this change, i might come up with more entries, lessen entries with sad thoughts. and make a good use of this blog. i'm still gonna post [s.e]'s haha.

randomthoughts..

2008-01-23T23:49:00.000+08:00

soo fucking lame.

2008-01-20T23:20:00.001+08:00

lets see.. yesterday we had basketball, then some computer games. surprisingly, i went home at around 10. that's really early considering its a saturday. the next day, sunday. my family went to mass then decided to see a movie. then i get home, i see these accusations through im's. this guy is blaming me, for telling his girlfriend things that she didn't need to know. i was like, 'uhh?' for the record, this issue was totally last year. i mean, whats the point of bringing it up? whats more, i don't even recall telling those things to her. and for crying out loud, i certainly don't have the fucking time for that kind of high school drama. jeez, i hope he grows up. but then again, i didn't tell those things.

if someone has to be blamed, it's gotta be you. i didn't make that kind of mess, you did.

if your reading this, and i hope you would. stick it in to your head, grow up.

edit: his girlfriend kinda said he's sorry. but then i've had enough, i don't care either way.

palpakerz..

2008-01-15T23:08:00.000+08:00

a few days ago, we had some drinks at barbeque boss. the beer was really cold, that was the first time i had to drink beer without ice on it xD

with all the funny mistakes, the idea popped out of my mind. why not make a list of all those funny mistakes. thus, palpakerz was born. xD

http://palpakerz.blogspot.com

year end-start entry..

2008-01-02T01:12:00.000+08:00

its 1:14 in my computer clock, i was supposed to type my year end entry before the year starts but i didn't have the time. well its about time i made my resolution, hopefully i get to fulfill all of these xD

my new year's resolution:
1.lessen alcohol intake.
2.take a break from those sad lines
3.listen to more happy music.
4.leave all the sad thoughts from 2007 behind.
5.somehow lessen my rf addiction.
6.read more
7.play more basketball

edit: i have lots of things in mind, but this entry is way past its due date >.<

LOL

2007-12-23T04:09:00.000+08:00

let me state reasons why this day would entitle as the best day ever.

1.the rf skirmish didnt push through.
2.the messed up LU event.
3.php boys always win.
4. i should have left earlier.
5. without even having to realize # 4 could've been the best thing i've done for the day >.<
6. every thing's so fucked up i couldn't get anything right.

[s.e]
phuck. >.<

move along..

2007-12-07T22:41:00.000+08:00

who knew, i would end up this way again. and for the record its been the second time around.

i hate you, dammit >.<

[s.e]
from sweet beginnings
to bitter endings..

xD

2007-12-02T22:11:00.000+08:00

well last night was really funny, i laughed so hard, my eyes started to grow teary. almost everyone was around. which was nice, more people = more fun. i should've posted this earlier, but i was really sleepy last sunday night.

[s.e]
Throw it away
Forget yesterday
We'll make the great escape
We won't hear a word they say
They don't know us anyway..

changes..

2007-11-20T00:04:00.000+08:00

well i did some minor changes in my blog. to the common reader, it wouldn't really be noticeable. this blog has been around for a while now. technically i made my 1st post at around december 21, 2004. so its been around 2 years 11 months. time really flies fast. i tried reading older posts, and some of them were really heartbreaking >.< oh well, this could just be my time stamp of how lonely i am.

dammit.

[s.e]
others achieve greatness,
some have it in them..

fun till it lasted..

2007-11-08T23:30:00.000+08:00

here i am, neglecting my blog. anyways, yesterday was kinda fun. we had dinner at penongs to celebrate jc's 21st birthday. after the meal, we headed at mts to have some drinks. we had our drinks at the usual spot, but we we weren't the usual group; ghetz was around, we had this funny group talk and some revelations. afterwards, we decided to head to starmart to have more drinks. but unfortunately, we couldn't buy any because of the liquor ban. instead we bought soda and some junk foods. but then again, we still had fun even if we didn't have alcohol. xD

a few days ago, i've just finished watching the most disturbing anime series. its entitled "school days" the plot starts off simply with the main characters at school. then moving on to some scenes which totally contradicts the japanese culture. but then twisted ending made me conclude that this is by far the most disturbing series i've ever seen.

[s.e]
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together...

a little vacation..

2007-11-01T11:00:00.000+08:00

im here at cagayan to spend all souls day and visit my adorable cousin. xD 2 days ago, my character reached level 50. it's any rf players dream. but still, i dont have decent equips, so i couldnt just go out and raid T_T anyways, i dont plan to make this long :)

[s.e]
This struggle could be over now
this time, time has changed us
our silence is deafening.
Nothing can make this better..

hmm..

2007-10-23T10:14:00.000+08:00

well its maintenance time, and i have got anything decent to do. thats why i decided to blog and rack up hits for this thing xD anyways, i've been really busy playing rf online ever since the semestral break kicked in. im hoping that i could reach lvl50 within this week >.<

there's this thing thats bothering me these days, its when some people couldn't just accept the truth and they tend to attack other people just to regain their lost ego. i mean wtf, seriously, my patience reaches far to the deepest realms but this one just took me in a snap. nevertheless, i don't see the point pondering more about it. >.<

[s.e]
tell me where our time went
and if its time well spent..

gah..

2007-10-09T18:49:00.000+08:00

i just lost like, 20gig worth of anime. i dont really know what the hell is going on with my hardrive. the files just disappeared. that just sucks.

[s.e]
We do it in the dark with smiles on our faces.
We're dropped and well concealed in secret places.
We don't fight fair...

onegai..

2007-09-15T02:14:00.000+08:00

i've been really lazy these days, i've got nothing much to do. if its not rf, its school. last saturday was really funny, the car got stuck infront of tmar's place xD. it took a while before we could get it out of the mud. we had a few drinks at their place then decided to head on to my place to continue. im bored, really bored. -_-

[s.e]
I've gone for too long
Living like i'm not alive
So i'm gonna start over tonight
Beginning with you and i
When this memory fades
I'm gonna make sure it's replaced
With chances taken
Hope embraced..

memories of nobody...

2007-09-10T23:58:00.000+08:00

hmm, the last few anime series i've seen, plus a movie. all had bad endings. whats up with that? it bothered me enough to even write an entry here. i hope the next few series i watch would have good endings.

[s.e]
And the risk that might break you
Is the one that would save
A life you dont live is still lost
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real til it's gone

T_T

2007-09-03T08:49:00.000+08:00

this is seriously not my week, i've been plagued with too much misfortunes -_- first was my cellphone, i was playing this certain song, and kinda forgot about it and slept. when i woke up, i tried turning it on. but after several attempts, wouldn't start. when i took it to the shop, the guy said it needs reformatting or in other words erase everything T_T i lost everyone's numbers. the only numbers i have are the ones i could remember. 2nd was my computer, my drive c suddenly got corrupted. the worst part is, i had lots of anime stored in that drive. -_- the word reformat comes in to play again. just my luck. -_-

[s.e]
I'm not so naive
My sorry eyes can see
The way you fight shy
Of almost everything

ani-ma kyoukai

2007-08-18T22:42:00.000+08:00

hmm, this blog needs updates xD its been roughly a month since my last update. yesterday, ive been to ani-ma kyoukai's anime convention. i could say it was quite a success despite some few errors along the event. but those errors were not life threatening with regards to the event. i loved the cosplayers, they were really passionate in dressing up as their favorite characters. rukia was may favorite. unfortunately she didn't win. she looked awesome though. the event also had a singing contest. not just your foreign or local hits but Japanese music. rukia sang rolling star, momo sang DAME. lots of nice songs, which i thought couldn't be sang on stage here in davao xD oh well. i might as well join up the cosplayers on the next anime convention. :P

[s.e]
take these chances
to turn it around
just turn it around
how could you do it?
i never saw it coming..

my sweetest downfall..

2007-07-28T03:03:00.001+08:00

seriously, im really becoming that lonely, emotional lad. but then, this might just be my God given fate -_- but no, thats not the point. i seriously need a girlfriend xD

[s.e]
You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads
But they're just old light, they're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met

when your gone..

2007-07-09T13:02:00.000+08:00

after countless (failed) attempts to fix my computer, i finally got things right. i haven't installed the utilities though.

i haven't had any decent conversations not till last saturday. it kinda opened up my self perception. and for the record, i didn't see that coming. that night i had to recollect everything from the past. well, i guess thats how other people see me.

alcohol really helps you open up. just a thought. :)

[s.e]
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
All the words I need to hear
to always get me through the day
And make it Ok
i miss you..

semi disconnected..

2007-07-03T01:04:00.000+08:00

while trying to get the feel of blogging another entry, i listened to a couple of tracks from paramore's new album, they have the their promotional video of the song "misery business". the new album has its share of love and hate songs. but lol, im not writing a review for it. anyways, i didn't have the best weekend. my rf account keeps getting disconnected, i messed up my computer's registry.

going through the deeper sense of my blog; random ranting; for now, the usual question that runs around my head every time i blog; does anyone read my blog? maybe yes maybe no. the only thing that's certain is that after i finish my entry, i read it maybe once or in some other cases, five times. sometimes i write entries specifically meant for someone or something. i also enjoy making entries that make my readers think, a lot. it is by far one of my best reasons for blogging aside from it being really entertaining in my part. but yes, i like to make other people comprehend. but then again, why do i blog? im leaving it unanswered, for now.

please don't take my silence as a form of thoughtlessness. im not good in coping up with these sorts of things. -_-

[s.e]
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

for a pessimist, im pretty optimistic..

2007-06-20T23:47:00.000+08:00

now for some random ranting; still on the path of absolute solitude, not needing the charity of attention. the path that my mistakes has taken me. but then, i have no regrets. this isn't new to me. i used to love this serenity, not wanting being wanted. but then again, that was the past. things do change. octavio paz once wrote; solitude is the profoundest fact of the human condition. man is the only being who knows he is alone. well, nuff said.

[s.e]
I never wanted to say this
You never wanted to stay
I put my faith in you, so much faith
And then you just threw it away
You threw it away

all of a sudden i miss everyone..

2007-06-16T01:56:00.000+08:00

well, i guess i'm still that hopeless romantic. *sigh*

[s.e]
It's your smile,
Your face, your lips that I miss,
Those sweet little eyes that stare at me
And make me say,
I'm with you through all the way.

weekend vacation..

2007-05-27T00:27:00.000+08:00

its my 3rd night here in hong kong, im just leeching off the someone's internet. well for the trip, so far im having fun here. i met lots of friendly chinese people. disney land was pretty ok, they had this great roller coaster, i think it was called space mountain or something. this ride was really intresting because unlike the conventional roller coasters this one is located indoor. the place is dark and it had lights all over the place creating the feeling of outer space. its really dark, so it doesnt give you any idea where the track leads you. overall, the ride was fun though it gave me a slight headache at the end. one thing that impressed me is the driving of the people here. they have impressive road courtesy, they dont even need to blow their horns at all. overall, i'd love to come back to this country if given another opportunity.

[s.e]
When you're around I don't know what to do
I do not think that I can wait
To go over and to talk to you
I do not know what I should say

And I walk out in silence
That's when I start to realize
What you bring to my life..

pba..rebound..

2007-05-22T19:57:00.000+08:00

last sunday, i met up with marci, wils, kitel and renj to watch pba games live at the araneta coliseum. i arrived at the gateway exactly 3, to while waiting for them, i checked out the arcade. well, usually arcades are often at the top floors. after a few games. i checked up on them, asked them where they were. while walking around i saw marci, then we decided to wait up for wils then went up to the mrt exit to meet up with renj and kitel. after meeting up with them, we had a few talks then headed straight to the coliseum. shortly after, the camera crew came to us asking if they could take video strips of us waving our hands. XD little did i know, they made us san miguel light endorsers. :P after the game, i had a little trouble getting home. i made a few calls then i got home safe. fun day ^^

may 22, today, my parents played a prank on me. they had to tell the restaurant that it was my birthday. the thing is, everyone from the restaurant sang a birthday song for me. hell, i was dumbfounded. i didnt see that one coming -_-

[s.e]

Oh kay bilis naman magsawa ng puso mo
Ganyan ka ba talaga bigla na lang naglalaho
Para bang walang nangyari di mo man lang sinabi

Sana'y hindi na lang pinilit pa
Wala ring patutunguhan kahit sabihin ko pang mahal kita
Nalulungkot,nayayamot,nagmumukmok
Hindi ko pa yata kaya pang labanan ang damdamin ko..

the boston drama..

2007-05-16T22:55:00.000+08:00

this song is really short. but it hits the spot. im feeling lonely these days. i didnt think it would be this hard. it`s way over my expectations.

are you trying to push me away?

please dont, your breaking my heart.

[s.e]
Standard pick-up lines that seems to wreck your bones
Can this be a sequel of my dying hope?
Chasing down a never ending make-believe
But you’re a perfect match of consistency
Will you come back in a heartbeat?
Don’t be confused of what a great thing we could be
We’ll take a walk on the same street
Can you tell me how Boston is like without me?

100'th blog entry..

2007-05-14T18:56:00.000+08:00

hurray, this blog has reached 100 entries. yesterday our village fiesta, so we had drinks, not minding the liquor ban. XD we're not gonna vote anyway. :P to continue my vacation spree, im leaving for manila in a few hours.

happy birthday meh ^^

[s.e]
Your face lights up the sky on the highway.
Someday, you'll share your world with me someday.
You mesmerize me with diamond eyes;
I try to fool myself to think I'll be alright.
But I am losing all control -
My mind, my heart, my body and my soul

Never in my life have I been more sure,
So come on up to me and close the door.
Nobody's made me feel this way before;
You're everything I wanted and more.

some updates..

2007-05-13T15:36:00.000+08:00

hmm, just got back from cagayan. nothing much to say though, well i got a couple of new stuff. i bought myself a new customized table tennis racket. good thing is, it surpassed my expectations. XD and i just finished setting up my new computer, now i have two computers in my room :P i just plan to use the old one as a backup server and for downloading huge files.

spiderman..

2007-05-01T23:59:00.000+08:00

i just got home, my cousins and i went to see spiderman 3. im not giving any spoilers, but here's what i think; its still as good as its predecessors. some scenes were really heartbreaking. the scenes somehow gave me that nostalgic feeling(again). it made me think of lots of things again. which kinda sucks, now that i'm still through my "melancholic episodes". yeah, i'm trying to pull myself together, but things just doesn't look good for me. my mind keeps drifting off, wondering how things could have been if i've done this or that. the whole thought keeps haunting me. the whole thing keeps on repeating itself, its like a cycle. it just wont stop. -_-

[s.e]
If I could I would do all of this again
Travel back in time with you to where this all began
We could hide inside ourselves and leave the world behind
And make believe there's something left to find

We'll be miles apart
I'll keep you deep inside
You're always in my heart..

here we go again..

2007-04-29T22:13:00.000+08:00

yet again, i'm having these melancholic episodes. plus, bizarre thoughts come out of my mind and its kinda stuck in my head. hell, i don't like this feeling. those bizarre thoughts keep adding up and seriously, it's not pleasant. whats more, all i can do is sit and wait. the waiting part, i'm not totally sure about it. i might be waiting for nothing. to the reader: yeah, i might not be making any sense, but this just could be my source of amusement with all the semi-self-pity i'm going through.

bah -_-

[s.e]
And here we go again
With all the things we said
And not a minute spent
To think that we'd regret
So we just take it back,
These words and hold our breath
Forget the things we swore we meant..

sunburn..

2007-04-25T22:17:00.000+08:00

i've neglected this blog for quite some time now,regarding the title, yeah, i have sunburn, i went water rafting with my cousins last monday at that rafting place located at the outskirts of cagayan. the water was really cold. and because of it we could hardly feel the heat of the sun. after the rafting experience, the family (at cagayan) decided that we head to boracay. the plan was take a boat to cebu then from cebu to iloilo then ilolo to boracay. the trip was kinda fun, we get to stay in cebu for a while. ^^ by the time i was in cebu, i txt`d up meh that i'd meet with her somewhere. she couldn't come after work because she had to settle some things along badjoy. mario said he'd go ahead. so i met up with him and waited for meh to come. long story short, we waited for a while then mae ann came. so, mae ann and i get to spend time together for a little while. ^^

by the time we reached the hotel at boracay, i felt really tired and had the urge to take a nap. when i woke up, i remembered, i had to do my internet rituals. luckily enough, i could get a signal from somewhere in the hotel. but the thing is, i could only get it when im in the terrace. XD anyways, i dont want to make this entry long, so im stopping here for now.

[s.e]

You say hello, inside I'm screaming I love you
You say goodnight, in my mind
I'm sleeping next to you..

-_-

2007-04-17T23:51:00.000+08:00

im not totally proud of myself right now.its just that, everything got so messed up. plus, i didn't know that it would end up that way. i just couldn't be quiet at the right time. -_- i should have done this days ago, but it always slips through my mind. anyways, enough of that. im sure they'll figure something out.

[s.e]
Will you come back in a heartbeat?
Don’t be confused of what a great thing we could be
We’ll take a walk on the same street
Can you tell me how Boston is like without me?

these days..

2007-04-01T20:52:00.000+08:00

hmm.. i've been wanting to write this entry for days now. its been about a week since my last entry. anyways, last week. i got really sick, so sick that i had to be taken to the hospital to run some tests. the next day, the gang went to kaputian to celebrate ghetz's birthday. well it was a pretty wild night, i knew i was out of control. i've had too much to drink. needless to say, i passed out. i couldn't remember a thing. after what the guys told me, seems to me that my body couldn't lie on how it feels. XD

a few days after, 5 people had to leave for cebu. jc, kuja, ghetz, teptep and leri. we had around 10 to 15 minutes to talk about anything. well, i hope they don't get too fat for me not to notice them when they get back. or if they'll ever get back in here in davao.

[s.e]
what is my heart telling you?

beach, basketball, 300

2007-03-23T23:48:00.000+08:00

honestly, i couldn't come up with the right words to describe my day yesterday. maybe this will do, basketball; tiring but still enjoyable. beach; the tide was kinda low but there was enough water to keep us (dirk and i) afloat. XD 300, i love the movie and the company ^^,

maybe i'd give it 10 stars for fun factor XD

[s.e]
un-lonely nights, romantic moments..
the love, the love..

tagum..

2007-03-17T02:18:00.000+08:00

i haven't updated this for about a week now. yesterday, we "suddenly" headed off to tagum. XD regarding my previous entry, this time we literally did go to badjoy's place. we arrived at around 12 o`clock. we did the usual stuff, (talking too much and drinking XD ) i think this would count as friday madness, it was friday after all.^^ anyways, we had the night to talk about anything. badj and i even had this small conversation through her cellphone. :P

[s.e]
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said "I miss you"?

my two closest friends..

2007-03-08T10:48:00.000+08:00

yesterday, benjie and i ran out of things to do. thats when we decided to head off to badjoy's place. when we got there, badjoy was still sleeping, so i think they had to wake her up. XD long story short, the three of us talked about lots of things. i even told them things i've never told anyone. which makes both of them my two closest friends for the night. ^^

thanks bb (badjoy benjie)

im thinking..really hard.. XD

[s.e]
I'm gonna love you more than anyone
I'm gonna hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, your body'll be free
I'll be free for you anytime
I'm gonna love you more than anyone

eww..

2007-02-26T23:19:00.000+08:00

eww, the thought sickens me. kristel told me about what she thinks about my recent entry earlier today. to set things straight, i'm missing a girl, not some double-crossing queer. XD

i miss you..

2007-02-25T01:46:00.000+08:00

well, the situation was; i had nothing to do but wait, i had a pen, couple of sheets of paper and my philosophy book. and i came up with this:

i miss you but i doubt you'll have time to listen..
i miss you but something doesn't feel right..
i miss you but your busy enough with your life..
i miss you but missing you, isn't enough..
i miss you but yet you prefer to ignore it..

maybe i should call it, 5 minute literary works. XD

[s.e]
well as for now i'm gonna hear the saddest songs
and sit alone and wonder..

surreal perception..

2007-02-22T00:35:00.001+08:00

abstinence, its quite ironic, hearing that word. im feeling stressed out these days, few sleepless nights and a couple of late night flashbacks. *sigh*

sucks to be me -_-

[s.e]

i'll love you `till the day we run out of tomorrows..

how nostalgic..

unlucky..

2007-02-20T12:52:00.000+08:00

Mariah Carey - Breakdown

classic, but nice. ^^
will i find a way to get to you somehow?
[s.e]

Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it
And I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm slowly losing my my mind
Underneath the guise of a smile gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly
'Cause I don't want to reveal the fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night
And turn down all the lights and then break down and cry

friday im in love..

2007-02-18T02:02:00.000+08:00

friday, we had beer in lele's place. we talked about all sorts of stuff, from music to dota. well, nothing radical took place, or maybe there was, the time when i was all alone having to drink 1 liter of beer all by myself. it was pretty intense, i had the time to think about lots of things. by the time i had my last glass, i was starting to feel dizzy, thats when i decided to lay down and end the night. anyways, kung hei fat choi ^^

"people always leave". that's just sad.

[s.e]
some things i'll never know
and i had to let them go
i'm sitting all alone
feeling empty..

valentines day..

2007-02-14T23:58:00.000+08:00

lets see, valentine's day, a day dedicated for love and affection between two people. most probably the time where cupid shoots arrows like crazy. well in my case, i think cupid missed a couple of arrows XD nonetheless, valentine's day couldn't be that bad after all. then again, happy valentine's day everyone. ^^

you`re way over your head, fag.

edit: my bad, thanks wils ^^

[s.e]

cause i've seen love die
way too many times
when it deserve to be alive
cause i've seen you cry
way too many times
when you deserve to be alive..

hmm..

2007-02-12T00:16:00.000+08:00

then again, a few days of blog silence. its just that, i couldn't think of anything interesting to blog about. valentines day's coming up this week. the thought of it made me remember what happened way back. probably 2-3 years ago. quite possibly the most messed up vday i've ever had.

[s.e]
some things i'll never know
and i had to let them go
im sitting all alone
feeling empty..

weekend update..

2007-02-03T21:13:00.000+08:00

i haven't done anything out of the ordinary this past week. about my hair, it feels nostalgic.

something's bothering me lately, i've discussed it with a friend, but he said i'm just making up things. well no, im not. actions do speak louder than words. anyway its just two things, either its the truth or im really just making up things again.

[s.e]

Sugarfree - Burnout

..detsaw

2007-01-29T20:27:00.000+08:00

well, saturday, we spent the night at rj's place. it was located in the outskirts of maa XD we had: 2 bottles of: brandy, tequila and vodka. needless to say, i got really drunk (again).i slept halfway through the night. the others had their own version of "fun". i was asleep, and because of that i didnt get to participate or view the so-called "fun" they were having. nuff said. XD

sunday morning, i went to mass with a killer headache. >_<

farewell, rapunzel :)

[s.e]
im suppressed by all my childish fears..

moments..

2007-01-26T01:14:00.000+08:00

well, i had the sudden urge to blog, but unfortunately i didn't have a computer in front of me. i just wrote this in a piece of paper so i could eventually post it in my blog in the near future. anyways, my last entry was around 11 days ago.this time, i wanted to blog about certain personalities that tend to annoy me. but before that, be warned that i would make up names for these so called personalities. because for the fact that i have no idea what they're called or if they even do have a name.

first, its the "i-am-the-center-of-everything" personality or simply, personality 1. i think the title speaks for itself, but nevertheless im gonna dive more into it. this person, would tend to be controlling for the sake of his/her convenience. in short, everything should go their way. if not, they would tend to rationalize or blame it to everyone except themselves. how to deal with people with personality 1, ignore them. you could go for alternative ways but ignoring them is much better. having delight though their displeasure could be sadistic but it can become really amusing.

second, the "i-own-you" personality or personality 2. you could take the title literally XD but personality 1 is more like personality 2. the difference is, people with personality 2 tend to do something about it. i mean, if things aren't going their way, they would do everything in their power to get what they want. same thing goes when interacting with other people, they tend to do almost everything to get the attention of a certain person. once they get the attention of the other party, they become authoritative thus leaving the other party with no choice but to stick with personality 2's decisions.

well unfortunately, only 2 came out of my mind. XD to the readers, please be aware that i have no intention of inflicting sorrow to other people's thoughts or feelings.

[s.e]
Some things I'll never know
And I had to let them go
I'm sitting all alone feeling empty..

melancholy..

2007-01-16T22:55:00.000+08:00

yet again, being nosy took its toll. and i got the same result -_- anyways, i've been thinking about changing the look of my blog. i tried making my own layout, but i cant seem to find a good image to match my work. i tried looking for pre-made layouts, but nothing caught my eye. so in the end, im sticking to the old layout.

[s.e]
So I pretend
I'm doing all i can
And hope someday you'll find it in your heart
To understand
Why I'm not around
And forgive me for not being in your life

i guess, this is how i handle things. having uncertainties in life is really troublesome but challenging. but i simply hate challenges.

dont worry, ill make it up to you. xoxo. :)

weekend update..

2007-01-14T13:59:00.000+08:00

I'm not quite sure how i would describe my weekend. but i wanted to blog about it anyhow. well, friday; it was kinda messed up, the plan was to play dota with jed's group, francis was really late and dirk didnt show up. it was kinda embarrasing because jed's group had to wait for a while. francis and christian only showed up. anyways, long story short, we won 2 games.

friday night, i went to dirk's place. i got to hang out with unusual people, (well, unusual because we dont really hang out at all) art and oseng. the rest of the gang played poker all night. as for me, it'd be pc, ps2 and learning how to play poker. benj had a rough night, he was quite sick because of a certain burger he ate. he said it was from the cafeteria. the next day was really intresting, christian and i walked from dirk's place to our place. XD

[s.e]
sarcastic smiles and fake hello's..

well, maybe i'll get over that scene. not unless that person has the decency to step back. ><

hmm

2007-01-11T23:51:00.000+08:00

i was about to blog something intresting. but, hell it didnt match my mood.

maybe tomorrow.

again, sleepless nights..

2007-01-08T02:32:00.000+08:00

its 2:37am, but still im infront of the computer, waiting for myself to feel sleepy. lately i've been having sleepless nights. well, i could only think of two things, first is; maybe my body still could'nt adjust with my actual sleeping hours. i usually sleep at around 11 or 12 o'clock. sometimes 1 o'clock tends to be an exception. but 2 or 3am is'nt really normal for me. anyways, the 2nd probable reason; when i lie in bed, i start to think about things. lots of things circle around my mind when i lie in my bed. thus, in the process, making it hard for me to sleep. in fact, quite a few things are bothering me right now. its unfortunate, that still, i could'nt come up with the right words to express that feeling. i hope i could.

-_- i miss long blog entries.

few mistakes..

2007-01-06T23:38:00.000+08:00

lately.. i've realized, the mistakes i've made since that day. well, at my previous count, it was 5. but, yesterday ghetz made me realize i forgot to add "that" mistake in my list of mistakes.(he doesnt have any idea though :P ) to sum it up, 6 all in all.

will i find a way to get to you somehow?

-_-

hmm..

2006-12-31T17:27:00.000+08:00

Mano Po 5

screw that movie.. thanks for reminding me of the past and why it never really worked out. as for you, stay in your locked room. -_-

forget the past, ignore the future complications.

happy new year.

overnight visions..

2006-12-26T22:16:00.000+08:00

why? why am i still seeing you? i thought i left you inside a locked room. who let you out? pls go back, im seeing someone and i like her very much. do me a favor please. stay away.

(im not crazy or something, i just need to do this. )

xmas party..

2006-12-17T21:27:00.000+08:00

yeah, i had fun.. the food, the awards.. (i got a shameful award, maoy king) -_- but its fine.. maybe i really deserve it XD and yeah.. we had a beer drinking contest (all thanks to the movie beerfest) renj's group won.. that game was kinda funny.. and yeah i admit, i was totally wasted that day..again, i've lost coordination on my speech. making me say lots of nonsense.. and god knows what. XD the bottom line is, i had fun.

merry christmas :)

the saddest song on this lonely planet..

2006-11-23T22:52:00.000+08:00

finally..

So this is how it feels,
Well i cant be at ease
What have you done?
This endless sorrow, i have
Where have you gone?
This twisted reality, i hate

[PreChorus]
But how come it feels this way?
And why did it turn out this way?

[Chorus]
Its just the saddest song,
On this lonely planet
Everything, falls apart inside me
This pain it overwhelms me
With all the time we've spent together
You and me, just a wasted memory

Im drowning in tears
You dont seem to care
Im clouded by my fears,
But still you weren't there

[Prechorus]
[Adlib]
[Chorus]

twisted reality..

2006-11-22T23:52:00.000+08:00

this heartfelt leap, i surrender..

its about time, i got into my senses..

the saddest love song on this lonely planet..

2006-11-01T17:15:00.000+08:00

how nostalgic.. i miss those days..

i hope i could finish your song..

untitled..

2006-11-01T10:56:00.000+08:00

still, at loss for words.. -_-

To see you when I wake up
Is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
Is a three-fold, Utopian dream.

You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said "I miss you"?

I see your picture.
I smell your skin on
The empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days,
But already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care,
And I miss you.

wonderful crazy..

2006-10-27T01:22:00.000+08:00

yet again, im at loss of words.. -_-

i miss you, im sorry i could'nt come up with the right words before you guys left..

reality check..

2006-10-26T00:31:00.000+08:00

ok, im feeling fuzzy and all.. but i think this is all thats left for me to do.. anyways, here goes...

Love; ignore it and you suffer as you cannot imagine..

i got the line from the movie "Tristan and Isolde" and found it very intresting. Isolde spoke those words. imo, she has a point. it sucks. but you ask yourself? who would ignore love? having someone love you is like a gift. why ignore it?

friends

2006-10-01T20:28:00.000+08:00

this is a portion of the script of the series friends on its 10th season, episode 16.

Rachel: You really think I didn't say goodbye to you because I don't care?

Ross: That's what it seemed like.

Rachel: I cannot believe that after ten years, you do not know ONE thing about me.

Ross: Fine, then why didn't you say something?

Rachel: Because it is too damn hard Ross. I can't even begin to explain to you how much I'm gonna miss you. When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me not want to go... Okay, so if you think that I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there, all right, there's your goodbye... Oh!

Ross: Rach!

Rachel: What?

Ross: You keep, you keep... You can't...

Rachel: WHAT?

(Ross walks over to her and starts to kiss her passionately. After a while Rachel backs out. She thinks a while and starts kissing him back.)

i love this scene. everything sounds perfect. i really miss this show. back then, when i was watching this episode, i didnt have any idea this would be the last episode. i had mixed feelings back then. i was happy that rachel and ross got back together, but sad in a way because the season's gonna end. no, the show's came to an end. and also, everything went well with chandler and monica. and as for phoebe, she got married to mike.

anyways, i wrote this entry not because i wanted to rant about the way rachel said goodbye.. it was really nice. i had teary sensation back then. i was really moved at what she said. if only i could've said those words back then. everything would'nt have been so messed up.. -_-

last night..

2006-09-23T15:20:00.000+08:00

pretty wild night, i must say XD

well yesterday we spent the night at mts particularly in taboan (i might have spelled it wrong):P anyways, the band Itchyworms performed yesterday. just as i said.. a pretty wild night. everything didnt turn out the way i thought it should be. but it turned out kinda good anyhow.

^^

lol

2006-09-16T20:05:00.000+08:00

i should stop being nosy. im gonna end up hurting myself because of it.. XD

random update..

2006-09-12T23:46:00.000+08:00

i admit, i haven't been blogging lately.. well, i tend to forget things like these. sometimes i think its pointless blogging these days. and in some other days, i feel like blogging about everything. anyways.. i havent been doing anything serious these days. hmm.. i've just lost the feeling.. till then ^^

oh crap..

2006-07-31T00:16:00.000+08:00

being drunk took its toll yesterday.. big time! -_- futek kaulaw... oh well XD

here's a song from the band ChicoSci.. A promise

Now you are my beloved ghost
And here i’ll wait for you to sing
Then we will have eternity
A promise to keep haunting me

This wine
From my veins
These gifts
We’ll take

The sky is ours to keep tonight
Together in this silent sleep
We are the mist that fills the air
Lie still, just be with me

This wine
From my veins
These gifts
We’ll take
And i’ll be
The kiss
The gun
We’ll be draining their blood again

Embrace the rest of me
Well be racing through the night
Again, embrace the rest of me
And then we’ll feast on them, celebrating

I’m not alone
I can feel your eyes on me

I’m not alone
Your soul for all the world to see

Denied another day
Life took you away
I’ll love you just the same

Cause you are my beloved ghost
And here i’ll wait for you to sing
Then we will have eternity
A promise to keep haunting me
The sky is ours to keep tonight
Together in this silent sleep
We are the mist that fills the air
Lie still, just be with me

I’m not alone
I can feel your eyes on me
I’m not alone
Your soul for all the world to see

smile at me..

2006-06-20T12:06:00.000+08:00

the first time i heard this song, it was aired on the radio. the song started with a guitar playing, (it was cool though) and when i heard the lyrics.. everything started to fall in to place.. the song perfectly describes the way i feel for that someone ^^ anyways, it was performed by rocksteddy here's the lyrics..

Funny how I fell for you,
And the day you caught my eye
And my life had never been the same,
Since the day I saw your smile

As you shine above everyone,
You stand out from the crowd,
And somehow I can't find the words to say
Your indescribable

You sweep me off my feet
Everytime you smile at me,
At me.. at me.. at me..

You light my way,
you always take my breath away,
You set me free,
When everytime you smile at me

There's this feeling that I can't hide,
That I couldn't get enough of you,
I can't deny.. i'm mesmerized..
By the beauty of your smile

Cause you knock me off my feet,
Everytime you smile at me,
At me.. at me..

You light my way,
You always take my breath away,
You set me free,
When everytime you smile at me.

finally..

2006-05-11T15:51:00.000+08:00

oh yeah, im back alright. this blog literally died 2 months ago XD its just that, i didnt have time or anything to blog about. which temporarlily ended blog updates. well, so much about that. its been about 6 days since i arrived. anyways, lots of stories to tell, no time for me XD

things that keep me sane..

2006-03-02T19:40:00.000+08:00

i havent been blogging lately. well its just that, i have nothing much to blog about. but here's the thing, sometimes it helps me let off some steam.

people sometimes tend to offend others unintentionally or unconsciously. not to mention being awfully sarcastic. patience is a virtue that isnt present among everyone. fortunately, patience is something i have. but even i myself have my own limits in terms of patience. have this conversation as an example: (this guy was just introduced to me by my friend.)

guy:so your from davao pala?
me: yup.
guy: bakit, may farm kau dun?
me: (wtf?)

well, as for that. i tried to look at the brightside, nothing came up. sucks though.

lol. thanks for reminding me how fucked up my life is.

so little time..

2006-01-14T01:54:00.000+08:00

edit: after i reviewed this blog entry, i realized, it was an absurd entry XD and if you insist on reading it, pls dont blame me for wasting your precious time :P

i havent updated this blog for some time already. well, its 1am late at night, im not sleepy and i feel like blogging about almost anything. its basically anything that comes out of my mind, this is random thoughts right? the name speaks for itself. anyways, to start off. my flight off to manila has been moved to the 23rd, i have no idea why, but my mom said i still had stuff to deal with before i leave. as far as i could remember, ive nothing left to do here XD having fun maybe, but thats another thing. well, im looking forward in building my pc when i get back, it adds up to the list of the things i could possibly do while im there. im just hoping my dad would get me everything i wanted for that pc. i mean, i havent been doing anything expensive, its the least he could do.

moving on, a thought just ran through my mind. its this thing about songs and how they coincide on the way you think or even mess with your head. its like, you always hear them at the right time. i know its purely coincidental and there's no point in having faith on a certain feeling or thought that doesnt really exist. its like, im making up things in my mind, and it leads me to countless possibilities on human behavior. like, yeah.. i remember this girl doing "this and that", and stating the obvious, she's really doing "this and that". but my mind tells me, what if she did "this and that", but isnt really doing "this and that". but instead, she's trying to pull off something but you couldnt possibly comprehend because its right infront of you. basically, stating the obvious is undeniable. but in the later part, you realize, what you saw is nothing compared to what it really means. (now you see how these things mess with my mind?) furthermore, why am i stating this? i've known a lot of people, some of them give you a hard time, there are others who make you feel good about yourself. and yes, there are others who dont seem to have any interest in who you are and what you do. sometimes, people appear to be who you want them to be. sometimes in comes out worse. i feel like continuing, but ill just leave it there for now. (i just ate 3 chocalate sandwiches, it kinda made me sleepy) i might get back to this certain thought in the future :)

it was about a week ago where i had this conversation on the phone with this lady friend of mine. i havent spoke to her for some time now, well i did some catching up and i just wanted to talk to her and see how she's handling everything thats going on around her. funny thing is, its kinda stuck in my system, checkin' up on her and all, but this was the longest time i havent checked up on her. nevertheless, i cleared things up with her. if she's reading this (which is highly unprobable) well.. i feel you, if people pull you down, be happy. it just proves your above them :)

this is how random my mind could get. it could get even worse. i hope not XD

..

2006-01-01T01:18:00.000+08:00

happy new year everyone ^^

free time..

2005-12-23T21:33:00.000+08:00

finally, i had the time to update my blog. ever since i arrived davao ive been really busy with almost everything and i couldnt find time to update or better yet, surf the net. anyways, i spent atleast two weeks in manila mostly with my dad and with some of my friends. well, being with my dad, is kinda cool. we get along often with no disagreements. the experience made me talk about my life and telling my dad what he doesnt know about me or why i do these things. it made him understand a part of me that he didnt know because he's not always at home. so basically, spending two months with my dad isnt really a bad idea.

anyways, i went back to davao, i never expected this, a surprise party. i mean, my birthday was like a 2 weeks ago. a suprise party never came into my mind. but then a friend sent me a clue of whats going on. anyways, long story short, when i finally reached home, i saw some relatives and food on the table. and there i was, thinking it was a welcome back party. it was then that i realized that it was a birthday party for me. i was overwhelmed when i saw everyone. i mean, i wasnt aware that a few it3 people were coming. it definitely was a surprise party. to those of you who came and are reading this, thanks :P

well i was about to post this 2 days ago. :P merry christmas everyone ^^

XD

2005-12-09T16:58:00.000+08:00

hehe.. nothing much, i just felt like posting something here :P

...

2005-11-14T10:34:00.000+08:00

well, i spent my last few days in davao with the it3 people, most of them didnt have any idea that i was leaving. at first, i decided not to tell them, but then i felt that its just better if i told them i was leaving. i mean, i left for manila a few times already, but this one's different. im staying here for good, and only come back to davao on holidays or emergencies. well, the kaputian trip, pure fun. i mean, there was never a dull moment. (and to think, i had to carry a tire tube while saying donut bay, or do not buy XD )and the UBC (ultimate balling championship XD) anyways, it3 people, i really enjoyed spending my last 2 days with you guys. mario, francis. thanks for going all the way to the airport to accompany me. mar, thanks sa friendship band :D thanks guys, ill really miss you people.

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go.
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say Goodbye

But the dawn is breaking it's early morn
The taxi's waiting he's blowin' his horn
I'm ready I'm so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'cause I'm leaving on a Jet Plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe I hate to go

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now they don't mean a thing

Everyplace I go I'll think of you
Every song I sing I'll sing for you
When I come back I'll wear your wedding ring

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time let me kiss you
Then close your eyes and I'll be on my way

Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave you alone
About the times that I won't have to say

I'm leaving on a Jet Plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe I hate to go.

hmm..

2005-11-06T22:05:00.000+08:00

well, i guess they're not bluffing.. one more week :)

finally..

2005-10-30T23:10:00.000+08:00

well, finally.. my dad bought me an electric guitar XD hmm, it was all to sudden.. i mean, i was expecting it for my birthday but it came sooner than i expected. whats more, i was expecting a peavey raptor.. but then my dad gave me a fender strat. how cool is that XD everything was more than i expected..

hmm..

2005-10-27T00:02:00.000+08:00

its been a while.. i couldnt update my blog on time, well.. lots of things happened and everytime i use the computer, i feel like i have still lots of things to do and blogging seems to be last in the list. luckily i had the time to update this thing. anyways, sem break really has lots of good things to offer. i started playing ragnarok online again. its still fun. it was just last monday when dirk celebrated his 19th birthday. needless to say, we had so much fun that night. anyways, this should be last on the list. XD